“Mama, I’m in Love… with a woman”: A Reflection on Same Sex Relationships

I’m in love. It all started with the graduate orientation—a boring meeting replete with details about the dos (e.g., do prepare your lectures) and don’ts (e.g., don’t sleep with your students) of teaching. I met many people during that orientation but never did I imagine that I would meet the love of my life. It was all very simple… a 20-minute conversation that turned into a nightlong conversation. You know the nightlong conversations I’m referring to, the ones where you talk about every topic under the sun and never realize how much time has elapsed. Nightlong conversations led to possibilities—the possibility that I really liked this person. I wanted to make my possibility known but I didn’t want to be rejected either so days went by and on a night where I had some liquid courage I let my feelings go. That led to a kiss, a first date, and four years later we are still together.

Our love is just like everyone else’s. There are sunny days where everything is right in the world and then there are hurricane days (yeah I skipped past cloudy days) where you just can’t stand the person. Although we love hard, our love experience is very different. From the little things like walking into Hallmark and not seeing a card that represents your love (thank goodness for sites like aesthetically spoken!) to bigger things, like your love being de-legitimized by bans on same-sex marriage. These are things we continue to battle and overcome, making our love stronger than ever. Despite these things, the hardest thing for me to cope with is feeling like I have disappointed my mom in some way—that my decision to pursue happiness with the person that I love makes me a failure. This is one of the biggest obstacles that I have to face and while I wish that my mom could be genuinely happy for me, I know it’s not my fight. I am just being in the present moment, enjoying life, wishing my love didn’t have an obsession with Sports Center, and most of all being in love.

Related posts:

  1. “Whats Love Got to Do With It?!”: A Reflection on Relationships in the Black Community
  2. “Prove It!”: A Reflection on Complicated Love
  3. “To Submit or Not To Submit…”: A Reflection on Love and Independence
  4. “No strings attached, your love is so WiFi”: A Reflection on Online Dating
  5. PSA: A plea from a frustrated, not angry black woman to all Dynamos!!
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