Let’s Talk About It: Do Guys Make Better Friends Than Girls?!

This weekend my sister was watching an MTV interview with Sway and Nicki Minaj.  Let me say that if you do not know who Nicki Minaj is you better be over the age 50 and/or live under a rock, lol. Though I don’t consider myself to be a part of the Nicki Minaj generation (I come from the Lil Kim era :-) ), you can’t deny what Nicki Minaj has done for herself .  I didn’t catch the whole interview, but at one point Minaj was talking about female and male relationships.  I couldn’t find a clip, but what she was saying was it’s so easy for men in the industry to come together without any issues.  How Drake respects Kanye and vice versa and there’s never really too much “Drake is trying to be like Kanye”. They can collaborate and still be friends, whereas we as females rarely have that.  A compliment or emulation of any type is taken automatically as a threat.  And in that moment Nicki Minaj gained a new founded respect from me.  So let’s talk about it: Do guys have better friendships than we do?!

“I definitely think guys have better loyalty within their friendships, but I wouldn’t say that they are better friends than we are.  For me, I love watching Grey’s with the girls as much as watching the game with the guys.  And despite us having the bad rep, I  think both men and women can be opinionated ”chatty” people.  When my opinions don’t match or I’m not sure of something, it’s easy to chalk it up to ‘being a girl’ with the guys.  But when we are not sure or disagree with a female, we feel the need to convince that female she is wrong.  Something I recently learned from an older soror of mine is ‘good has a lot of gray’.  We all bump heads in the gray areas of our friendships, as we all have different definitions of what it means to be a friend. I think the ‘Boys Club’ stereotype help men to be more loyal and entrusting of their male friends. We get the emotional, chatty rap and fall right into the trap, lol!! In my experience I have found men are just as emotional and chatty, but it usually ends in that room. No “Did you hear what so and so said?!” text messages the next day, lol.  I find men just talk about “so and so” right in their presence and that’s why they are always physically fighting, lol.  Even after a fight, the beef is usually over. For us, the battle is never to be lost because if we lose we internalize that person is better than us.  We usually resort to talking shit behind their back, which can be even more damaging than a physical bout.  Because as ADULTS we know words can hurt just as much as “sticks and stones”. That damage and hurt is often unfixable and brings trust into question now.  I don’t encourage violence, lol, but I do believe honesty works best. No one is saying not to gossip :-) , we just have to be prepared to ‘chalk it up’ when we lose. xx”

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